"Look well into yourself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if you always look there." - Marcus Aurelius
Today I am sharing with you how I have had to learn to cope with anxiety that has arisen in my life. For me, it can feel like drowning without being underwater, where my heart beats heavily in my chest and overwhelms everything. These feelings are uncontrollable and frustratingly impossible to try and manage, especially without the right tools and coping strategies to help calm your mind in those moments where everything is simply ‘too much’.
If I were to describe anxiety, it is like being followed by a voice which knows all of your insecurities and uses them against you at your most unsuspecting moments. In my own journey with this debilitating mental illness, I have found that the first and most important step to managing it, is understanding it.
Anxiety, in simple terms, is defined as the response to a threat - real or imagined. There are two main forms that anxiety can present as; these are Acute and Chronic. Acute Anxiety is fed by the fear of what is happening around you while Chronic Anxiety is fed by the fear of what might possibly happen.
Acute Anxiety
Acute anxiety is a naturally occurring alarm in your body – a survival mechanism. This type of anxiety reminds us to act with caution in dangerous situations, for example when crossing a busy highway or walking along a dark street alone at night. This type of anxiety is normal and healthy, signalling our senses to stay on high alert when there is a potential threat nearby.
Chronic Anxiety
Chronic anxiety, most commonly referred to as Generalised Anxiety Disorder, is brought about by a series of ‘what ifs’ and the anticipation that there will be a bad outcome no matter the situation. It is excessive and steady, intrusive and debilitating. There can be any number of triggers for Chronic Anxiety in a person’s life, generally arising first during childhood. Research has even shown that children brought up by family members who struggle with Chronic Anxiety may create a phenomenon where it is transmitted and absorbed without thinking. As kids we learn how to deal with situations by watching others; if we learn to become anxious when thinking about what might be, this may then pave the way for how we react as adults.
Most people who suffer with anxiety will, over time, form their own tactics for managing and coping with it. I am going to list those that work best for me along with a few more tried and tested methods.
1. Have A Conversation With Yourself
When you are experiencing intense anxiety or – in extreme cases – a panic attack, tell yourself that what you are feeling are normal panic symptoms. Then describe them to yourself. This reminds you to acknowledge the symptoms, bring awareness to them and in turn, let them go. Never judge yourself for feeling anxious; instead try to understand that it is a nervous system response that will soon pass.
2. Laughter
This, for me is a great self-soother. Whether it’s watching a favourite comedy show or having a good laugh with a friend, it does wonders for dispelling those anxious thoughts. The act of distracting yourself from what is happening in your own mind and replacing those negative thoughts with positive laughter can be a great tool in managing your anxiety.
3. Colour Therapy
This is one of my favourites and allows me to really zone out and focus on the colouring in. Why does it work so well? It’s simply a way of focusing the brain on something external, similar to meditation, making you calmer, mentally clearer and more relaxed. One I am using at the moment is Colour Yourself Calm by Paul Heussenstamm. Another go-to of mine is a jigsaw puzzle; just being able to focus your mind in a calmer manner not only relieves stress but, for me, actually triggers memories of happy childhood days spent doing these activities.
4. Believe In You
I found that I had lost a lot of my confidence in myself when I first experienced feelings of anxiety. To try and re-build my confidence I had to meet and overcome any experience that may arise, pushing myself in particular with the most difficult and overwhelming ones. To help yourself with this, think of an extremely difficult task you thought you could never do – something seemingly impossible - but that you achieved. Focus on how you were able to get through that situation and trust yourself to be able to do it again. Having the courage to look life and its inevitable difficulties in the eye will render those ‘what ifs’ of tomorrow obsolete.
5. Cut Down On That Caffeine...
Admittedly this is one I personally struggle with as coffee and I are all but joined at the hip however it is worth noting that drinks or foods with caffeine can make you more nervous. I am determined to cut down my own intake as part of my own self-healing plan so I encourage you to join me if coffee is one of your own downfalls. Wish me luck!
6. Get Your Health In Check
If your physical health isn’t in tip-top shape then it goes without saying that your mental health can bear the brunt. If you feel like you’ve tried everything to alleviate your anxiety and nothing’s making a dent then a trip down to your local GP to check hormone and blood levels might be a good idea. Sometimes that one thing you’re lacking in or have too much of can be the missing piece in your mental health puzzle.
7. Relax, Relax, Relax!
This for me is a must and crucial for my own mental state, especially after a long and stressful day. Set the scene and take the time to really pamper yourself. Have a nice warm bath or enjoy a spot of yoga. I also enjoy meditation, imagining myself on a beautiful secluded beach with only the sound of lapping waves on the shore, concentrating solely on my own breathing and the scene in my mind. With practice can be a wonderful way to end the day, preparing you for a good night’s sleep.
8. Breathing Techniques
Underrated but oh so necessary is learning to breathe properly and with intention, particularly useful during a panic attack or anxious moment. Try diaphragmatic breathing where your belly expands in and out instead of your chest going up and down. If you find it tricky, try imagining that there is a balloon in your stomach which your breath inflate and deflates. Take longer to exhale than inhale – inhaling for three seconds and exhaling for four.
9. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
This is a type of talking therapy which can greatly alleviates the stress and symptoms of anxiety. In simple terms, it focuses on changing negative thoughts (which are causing the anxiety) into positive thoughts. I actually enjoy talking to myself so this is a no-brainer for me however it does take practice and, for those who suffer with particularly bad anxiety, I highly recommend seeking professional help.
It is worth reminding yourself that, if you do feel a panic attack coming on, you are going to be okay and it will pass eventually. Feelings of anxiety can be painful and very debilitating however using the above techniques and reciting the mantra “this too shall pass” gives me strength to go with the moment and remember that it won’t last forever. As a counsellor, I always encourage those who suffer to seek professional help for any mental issues, however at-home techniques can be a wonderful and necessary part of management.
I hope that all of the above will help shine a beacon of hope and light at the end of the anxiety tunnel.